The Lobster-Quadrille

'Will you walk a little faster?' said a whiting to the snail,
'There's a porpoise close behind us, and he's treading on my tail.
See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance!
They are waiting on the shingle -- will you come and join the dance?
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the dance?
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the dance?

'You can really have no notion how delightful it will be
When they take us up and throw us, with the lobsters, out to sea!'
But the snail replied 'Too far, too far!' and gave a look askance --
Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not join the dance.
Would not, could not, would not, could not, would not join the dance.
Would not, could not, would not, could not, would not join the dance.

'What matters it how far we go?' his scaly friend replied.
'There is another shore, you know, upon the other side.
The further off from England the nearer is to France --
Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance.
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the dance?
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the dance?'

The above Lewis Carroll (Charles Lutwidge Dodgson) parody is a substitute of his first choice parodying a negro minstrel song. It's from The Mock Turtle's Song from The Lobster-Quadrille (Alice's Adventures in Wonderland). It parodies Mary Botham Howitt's 'The Spider and the Fly' which follows.

'Will you walk into my parlour?' said the Spider to the Fly,
'Tis the prettiest little parlour that ever you did spy;
The way into my parlour is up a winding stair,
And I've a many curious things to shew when you are there.'

'Oh no, no,' said the little Fly, 'to ask me is in vain,
For who goes up your winding stair
  -can ne'er come down again.'  

              

(1829)

The original poem, a 'cautionary tale', can be interpreted as a warning to avoid those who use flattery and deceit for evil intent or personal gain. Unlike other more moralistic poems of the Victorian epoch that Lewis Carroll also parodied, the first line of Howitt's poem lives on, although misquoted, as an aphorism of false friendship used to dissimulate a trap: 'Step into my parlour'. It has often been used by writers, although today it might be considered as hackneyed.

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The voice of the Lobster

Text and illustrations © Mirino (PW). Parody from Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. Original poem by Mary Botham Howitt, with thanks.   June, 2014